The Five Minute War

Things move so much faster now that we have the internet.

Civil unrest breaks out after Republican presidential nominee, John McCain is determined to be the winner. Lied to again, America is exhausted and a war is sought upon the White House. The experience with Gore will never be forgotten. Obvious before, America can't risk apathy one more time. We're losing our houses over it and can't drive to work anymore. With the furor that bees take to defending their hives, the people of America destroy the White House. It would take no more than five minutes.


I saw the following show last night at The Smell, "Perhaps you've heard of our pal Lucas Abela from Sydney? Among many things, he performs as Justice Yeldham, playing an amplified broken glass pane with his face.... mm hmm, wacky stuff." Words and sentiment only Professor Cantaloupe could communicate. Wacky stuff indeed. Mr. Yeldham yelled into the pane allowing the audience to see that funny G-Force face like in the Air Force training movies from the '50s. A horrible, shrill grumble of feedback is produced. I begin purring like a kitten.

The pane at first is roughly 3-1/2' long. As the performance continues, spit collects and is easily visible to the audience. We watch him lick, scream and blow all over the glass. He breaks it over his head. His lip curls over the top and finally blood starts from his left cheek. I feel horror and look around, "I hope you jaded sons-of-bitches are really freaked out right now." I'd be so sad if we wouldn't allow ourselves the real experience of Justice Yeldham - if our lives, our childhoods were so fucked up that we couldn't let escape our fear, compassion and disgust for something so disgusting. When he's done, applaud the fuck out of his performance.

Kristof said he wasn't into it. I think he said he didn't appreciate shock value for art. I thought and responded that I felt it might be much more than a spectacle. Like he was screaming, "This is my mother! My father! It has become my World!" Being on stage is part of the extremity of the angst. To be seen. I didn't feel like it was a spectacle for a spectacle. 100%, Justice Yeldham played the glass with his face and mouth and bled and screamed till it was all complete. We weren't paying $5 for, "The Shutter," or "Doomsday" this week. I just hope we all can react sincerely and appropriately. I'm much more positively stimulated by this than the Los Angeles breed of hipster bar bands. Those parent issues are just not for me.

Maura was brilliant as usual, "What if he triggered really neat samples or something." Totally. I'm so proud to be an Aura. That'd be hilarious to hear Spring Swallows or the coos of fair maiden and water nymphs instead. Can you imagine? On stage the geeky, weird kid that licked school bus windows and pressed his gums against the pane was performing with a vengeance while our ears were tickled pink.

Just freaking good anyway. I don't get enough noise in my diet so much anymore.